Jehovah’s Witnesses need a new name for their religion. I’ve been trying to convince the Governing Body to run a contest to select a new name, the prizes being: A one-week all-expense paid trip to whichever Bethel Jehovah is currently residing at! An autographed first-edition of Vol. 1 No. 1 of Zion’s Watchtower (hermetically sealed… Continue reading Contest: Rename this Religion!
Back in my Witnessing days there were a few publications that I considered the most important. Topping the list was the little blue “Truth book”: The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life. Second on the list was another little blue book: Did Man Get Here by Evolution or by Creation? The “Evolution book” was great.… Continue reading Did Woman Get Here by Evolution or by Rib?
(I’m sorry, but you just can’t.) One of the more useful things I do, when I’m not busy scoffing, is to transcribe school textbooks into braille for visually impaired students. Currently I’m working on a fourth-grade science textbook. One of the basic lessons that the book teaches is how all life on Earth depends ultimately… Continue reading You Can’t Live Forever in Paradise on Earth
In the U.S. there used to be a weekly newspaper called Weekly World News (WWN). This newspaper was advertised as “The world’s only reliable newspaper”. It focused on bizarre stories which were the product of a creative staff with a wild sense of humor. It was all very tongue-in-cheek though many of its less-educated readers… Continue reading Profits and Non-Prophets
What if I told you that I just wrote something that was “inspired by God”? You ask to see the document, and I hand you the following page: The LORD God, creator of heaven and earth and all that dwell therein spoke to me and said: “Bats are birds. Whales are fish. Unicorns, dragons, and… Continue reading Simply Inspired
If you haven’t seen it, you simply must watch this priceless video produced by our good friends the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society: In case the above video has been removed, there follows a transcript (Many thanks to Cedar’s Blog for providing this.) Mom: Caleb, what toy is that? Caleb: It’s Sparlock, the warrior wizard!… Continue reading Sparlock the Magical Warrior Wizard!
Update: As of 1999, the Watchtower has declared voting to be a matter of personal conscience. The following article may continue to be pertinent, however, since most Witnesses still do not vote, for the reasons stated below. Today is election day where I live. We get to vote on who our representatives should be in… Continue reading Election Day!
An RCL Exclusive! A visitor reported finding the following in the trash container outside of Bethel. It appears to be a printer’s proof of a yet-to-be-released revision to the Organization book, with a new set of baptism questions (the infamous “80 questions” that baptismal candidates must answer before a group of elders). It is designated… Continue reading The New and Improved 80 Questions!
(Note: Be sure to click on the footnote links to understand the relevance of this story. They’re the tiny blue numbers that are easy to miss.) A visitor relates: In my imaginary idyllic childhood I had a friend named Dave. We used to go swimming on hot summer evenings in a creek about three miles… Continue reading Something’s Certain
by “The Black Sheep” In one of Charlie Chaplin’s cinematic masterpieces, Modern Times, there is a scene in which a salesman mutely enters the room, sets up a gramophone, and plays a pre-recorded speech about his product (a hilarious automated feeding machine for factory workers). Chaplin’s film depicted the dehumanizing influence of an increasingly mechanized… Continue reading [Not] I, Robot